The
12 Most Annoying Things Sports Services Do
1. Abuse of
the American Language. They are guilty of crimes against the dictionary.
Two words in particular are misunderstood with amazing regularity. It must
be a learning disorder or something. None of these Bozo's are able to
comprehend the meaning of the words "Absolutely" and
"Free." They advertise a "Game Of The Year," "The
Season Package," or a "Lock Of The Century" ABSOLUTELY
FREE! Of course when you call, nothing is free.
2. Number
two. That's what most of these guys are full of. Number two.
3. They run ads hyping ridiculous, intelligence insulting records like 183
and 24 followed by the words "fully documented." But they never
tell you who did the documentation. The Tooth Fairy would be my guess.
Possibly Santa. Maybe their mommies. If you check with the only two barely
legitimate monitoring services in the country, even they will confirm that
these are bald faced lies.
4. When you
call no one can ever talk to you. They need your name address and phone
number for some reason. Better to hound and badger you with my dear. My,
what big teeth you have grandma. Don't take the bait, hang up.
5. They want to know how much you can move on a game. Like we're talking
about furniture here, and not hard earned cash. They need to know this so
they can figure out how much to overcharge you for those bogus games they
want you to buy.
6. After you
buy the season package for several thousand dollars, they immediately
start to offer you special games for even more dough. Hundreds, sometimes
more than a thousand a pop. These games are not included in the package
you bought they say. Funny they never mentioned that before they maxed out
one of your credit cards.
7. Your salesman is always trying to make you play way over your head.
Seems like an awfully strange money management scheme to me. Bet more than
you can afford, then leave town if you lose.
8. After
you've been sufficiently crucified, and you're dead in the water, your
salesman doesn't seem to want to talk to you anymore. While the green was
flowing, he was your best buddy. Now you're in deep trouble. He doesn't
phone, he doesn't write.
9. Bottom feeders from all corners of the globe seem to know your name and
number. They call at all hours and they all say the same thing. "How
have your games been doing?" Try answering this way. "Much
better since I started banging your mother thank you."
10. Magical
things begin to start happening. Garbage mysteriously starts filling your
mailbox. You can't believe the amount of trash. The mailman starts to look
at you funny and your wife starts plotting your death.
11. You watch the show on Saturday morning. The guy says he was 6-0, so
you call. You go 1-5. Next week you turn on the show. Guy says he went
6-0.
12.
Many of the biggest names in the industry run multiple services
out of one building or location. I'm talking as many as 15 or more.
They pass your name around like a hot potato. Opposite siding, fraud,
and theft run rampant. These people can really put a hurting on
you. Just keep this in mind and you'll be OK. Serial Killers generally
have more integrity than your average dishonest sports tout, and
are more trustworthy too. You'd be better off with O.J. Simpson
Sports. How about this one… KILL YOUR MAN! JEFFREY DHAMER SPORTS
WILL EAT HIM ALIVE! Every time they lie to you, call them on
it. Don't take any shit. Stand up for yourself. Keep your eyes peeled
and your ears open. Beware strangers bearing empty promises. Place
both hands firmly on your wallet, and hold tight. It’s Hunting Season,
and you are the prey. Aren’t they going to be surprised when they
realize Bambi is packing an Uzi this year.
|
|
Brian's
Masseus "Pandora"
|
|
|
